So how do you know how they want to be treated? You need to:

1. Observe their behavior, from a place of curiosity, not judgment.

2. Reflect on why they are behaving the way they are - what is their natural style?

3. Flex toward their style.

Generally speaking, some people seek control and being productive; others seek approval and applause; others seek thoroughness and precision; and others seek acceptance and friendship. When we begin to understand the natural behavioral style of others, we are better able to flex to meet their style and create a much improved outcome.

For example, if you're a really direct, get-to-the-point type of person and your boss is an enthusiastic, talkative, inspiring type of person, it will help your case to spend a few extra minutes upping your friendliness behavior. It's a bit of a stretch to flex, but the rewards will be great. Being able to flex is a crucial skill. The more you can flex, without being inauthentic, the more successful you will be in every area of your life. Getting along with people is your master key to life.

P.S. The Platinum Rule is also the name of an assessment that I use with clients. I'll talk more in another issue of Ordinary Brilliance about the simple but amazingly effective model of the Platinum Rule. You can quickly understand a great deal about anyone you are working with - and how to improve your relationship - simply by observing their behavioral preferences.